Caxton’s First Law
The amount of discussion in social media of any point of English grammar, vocabulary, punctuation or spelling is in inverse proportion to the frequency of its occurrence in the language.
Caxton’s Second Law
Where, in any discussion, a point of grammar arises incidental to that which was the purpose of the discussion, the former will always take precedence over the latter.
Caxton’s Third Law
The ability to write effective English declines as a function of the strength of the writer’s conviction, as expressed in social media, that the language is deteriorating.
Caxton’s Fourth Law
In any language discussion, the expression of opinion in relation to the provision of fact increases by geometric progression with the common ratio 2. This may be cited as the Ultracrepidarian Principle.
Caxton’s Fifth Law
The proliferation of advice in social media on the use of the English language increases in proportion to the adviser’s lack of competence to provide it.